Learning Patience

It has officially been 1 year since Chris and I started trying to have a baby. Obviously, we have no baby yet.

The past year has been hard. After the first month and a negative pregnancy test, I cried a lot. I was hoping we would be one of those couples who would quickly get pregnant. But I knew it was too good to be true. Then the second month came around and another negative. I cried more. Than the third month... you get the picture. I have cried a lot.

The last few months I have been able to distract myself and focus on other things. I haven't cried about this since about June. I am pretty proud of myself for being able to hold it together.

But I don't think I have just been distracted. I have learned a lot in the last year.

There is a scripture in the Doctrine and Covenants 98:1-2:

"Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not, let your hearts be comforted; yea, rejoice evermore, and in everything give thanks;
Waiting patiently on the Lord, for your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord..."

I have "Not thy will only Lord, but thy timing also" written next to it. It isn't easy accepting Heavenly Father's plan for Chris and I when it isn't what I want. It has been a lot of prayer, fasting and scripture study to finally get to the point I am at today.

I know that one day I will get to be a Mother. I will get to hold a little baby in my arms and love him or her unconditionally from the beginning. I am still not sure when or how. While I would love to know the answers to those questions, I don't need to know them to be happy. I know that Heavenly Father loves Chris and I and is watching out for us.

In the mean time, I am not just someone waiting to be a Mother. There are so many roles that I have and I can work to be the best at what I am doing. I am a wife and a teacher. And I am not perfect in either of those areas.

President Uchtdorf said

"I learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.

There is an important concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

Right now I can say that I am enduring well.

Stranger Danger

I did something today I hope my children NEVER EVER do. I took candy from a stranger.

Seriously? What was I thinking?

I went to the UVU Career Fair today to recruit people for where I work. (Sounds more important than it really was, trust me.) The guy in the next booth over ask if I wanted some gum. The only reason why I almost said no was because I was going to eat soon. But I took it.

It wasn't until 5 minutes later that I realized I took it from a STRANGER. What if he laced it with some drug? So far it I haven't seen any symptoms, but its only been 8 hours.

Oh, and Happy 100 posts to me. It only took me 1 1/2 years.

Faith

When I was younger, I had warts on my knee. (I know, gross.) My mom tried everything to get them to go away but they would always come back.

When I was 9 years old, the only thing left was to get a Priesthood blessing. (You can read a description of what that is here and here.)

My dad gave me a blessing and within a short amount of time the warts were gone. It's been 14 years and they haven't come back.

I have always had a testimony of the power of the priesthood. For some reason, I remembered this story the other day and it got my thinking. How wonderful is it that we have a Heavenly Father who blesses us and helps our testimonies grow based on our capability to understand? I was 9 years old, and wasn't going to understand some complicated answer to what I was asking for. But I was showing God that I had faith that getting a blessing would get rid of my warts, and it happened.

Also, how great is it that Heavenly Father loves us so much, and me as a 9 year old girl that he answered my prayer, even when it might have seem superficial. He gives us opportunities show our faith and then helps us grow. Even little girls.

I hope that I can give my children opportunities to show their faith and then help them see answers to their questions so that their faith can continue to grow.