Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I walked into the breakroom at work the other day and heard an interesting conversation.

Two guys were at the microwave heating up their TV dinners.

"Dude, this is taking so long. I wish we had one of those microwaves from (some movie) where it cooked food super fast."
"Dude, wouldn't that be awesome. It make cooking food so much faster."
"Of course if I was using it, I wouldn't put it on full power. That would just be freaky. I would put it on low power."
"Yeah, that would make sense."

That wasn't the exact conversation, but it was similar. TV dinners take 5 minutes, at the most. Really, that is too long to wait? It reminds me of the Brian Regan Pop-Tart sketch.

"And then they have microwave directions, you can microwave a Pop-Tart that just blew me away, that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop-Tart? A minute-and-a-half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap fry your Pop-Tarts before you head out the door, you might wanna loosen up your schedule. And I swear, it says, "Microwave on high for 3 seconds" That's all. I don't think I wanna wake up and be eatin' in 3 seconds, you know the alarm goes off. "AAAAA" Now! *shoves Pop-Tart in mouth* Oh, that's right! I gotta get out of here!! If your wakin', eatin', and haulin' in 3 seconds, it's time for a change of lifestyle."