Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Office Part II


Michael Scott:Racism is dead, Stanley. You can have any kind of ice cream you want.


Dwight Schrute:Jim, could you please inform Andy Bernard that he is being shunned?
Jim Halpert:Andy, Dwight says welcome back and he could use a hug.
Dwight Schrute:Okay, tell him that that's not true.
Jim Halpert:Dwight says that he doesn't actually know one single fact about bear attacks.
Dwight Schrute:Okay. No. Jim tell him bears can climb faster than they can run. Jim! Tell him!


Michael Scott:Can you tell who's gay and who's not?
Dwight Schrute:Of course.
Michael Scott:What about Oscar?
Dwight Schrute:Absolutely not.
Michael Scott:Well, he is.
Dwight Schrute:Well, he's not dressed in women's clothes, so...


Michael Scott:I don't care if Ryan murdered his entire family! He is like a son to me.

Michael Scott:David here it is. My, philosophy is, basically this. And this is something that I live by. And I always have. And I always will. Don't, ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who or who you are with, or or where you are going, or, or where you've been. Ever. For any reason. Whatsoever.
Michael Scott:[cut to talking head] Sometimes I'll start a sentence, and I don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way. Like an improv conversation. An improversation.


Michael Scott:I'm an early bird and I'm a night owl, so I'm wise and have worms.


Michael Scott:You know when people say, getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to them? I feel sorry for those people. That's? The best thing? Really? Yugh!